Journal #4

Journal #4
Chapters 10, 11 & 12
Perspective: Jem

Dear Diary,
A few days ago when I was walking home from school with Scout, I had this feeling about this crazy thing I felt like someone was going to show something I have never seen before. A few minutes later I remembered I saw this crazy possessed dog, he reminded me of Boo Radley. The dog with his evil movements and Boo stabbing his dad with scissors seemed to relate well. I could not imagine what the dog was going to do. I quickly ran to Calpurnia to show her what was happening. She freaked out, she yelled in terror, her perplexity way of reacting to this situation was different. I knew my papa or someone would come and save the day. My papa came I few minutes later and I felt relieved as I felt like I was about to isolated by the dog. My papa came out with a sheriff named Mr. Tate, I saw them debating but I did not know why. I came a little closer to my papa and boom my papa shot that dog, I acquainted the way he shot at the dog. It reminded myself of me when I shot at birds but I can not believe my papa did not tell why he was called Old one shot.
Another thing I remembered was that nasty Mrs. Dubose. She reminded me of a monster with all that saliva coming out of her mouth with that old wrinkle skin of hers, I could smell her evilness inside of her she was a cruel lady. She called my papa a nigger lover and since she messed with my papa she messes with me. I just took my anger out on her dang plants. As Scout was watching I knew that I she thought that I was fanatical at that time. I could not control my self. I got caught unfortunately I felt hate throughout the air as the way she called my papa that name, and my sister to dress nicely as she did not appreciate us. My nasty punishment was to enter to the house of doom and read to Mrs. Dubose. As I entered I smelt the word of grouchiness. As I began to read I could not imagine what she was thinking. I just wanted to throw this book at her nasty face while her saliva was coming out. I few more days later I found out she died, I received this book I did not know whether to throw it in the fire or not. I opened it and it contained a flower. I realized that she still has a good heart within her. I just threw the box at the fire for Scout would not notice I have feelings.
For the first time I entered a church full of negroes I could not imagine what they thought of us. I said to Calpurnia, “I don’t think I belong here.” She replied with a “Why boy, maybe its because your people are so dang mean to us negroes.” I thought for a while and saw people looking at us I felt as if I were in a cage with an audience torturing me. I realized that they feel the same with us when they are in the town of Maycomb trying to buy something. I just never realized that when I grow up I could become a torturer of the Negroes. Now I know how they are feeling. I think I have to realize more things and be mature. I have to entrust with my father more.